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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25200349">An (Incomplete) List of Terrible, Horrible, Very Bad, No Good Decisions Made by the Thirteenth Doctor: A Short Tale</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/yonderdarling/pseuds/yonderdarling'>yonderdarling</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>DVD Commentary, Episode: s07e04 The Power of Three, F/M, Lists, disguised identity, gratuitous references to French cinema, sex described kind of flowery, too tired for porn, wanton coffee attacks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:53:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,543</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25200349</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/yonderdarling/pseuds/yonderdarling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"Our paths crossed very briefly once, when she was a man." </p><p>The Doctor's still angry with the Master, and she knows exactly where to find him. And she has a cappuccino ready to go.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>The Doctor/O (Doctor Who), The Doctor/The Master (Doctor Who), Thirteenth Doctor/The Master (Dhawan)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>94</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Exactly What It Says On The Tin</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_one_in_which_the_filth_dwells/gifts">the_one_in_which_the_filth_dwells</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>For craftysquids, building on the ideas they gave me for "dauger" and also because they requested a very cool fic idea from me approximately ten years ago and I still haven't finished it.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is many things, including</p><p><strong>1</strong>. Morally questionable<br/><strong>2</strong>. Ethically questionable<br/><strong>3</strong>. A violation of the rules and laws of time <br/>      <strong>a</strong>. That said, she is the last of the Time Lords <br/>      <strong>b</strong>. And apparently she’s sort of, kind of…the ur-Time Lord, so really doesn’t she make the rules.<br/>      <strong>c</strong>. So she really is sort of In Charge of that<br/>      <strong>d</strong>. Actually, in hindsight there is a closed loop aspect she should probably look into, and there’s no time like the present<br/>           <strong>d1</strong>. (There’s no such thing as the present if we’re being very technical)<br/>                <strong>d1.2.</strong> The closed loop aspect involves O whispering in her ear in the outback as he’d pressed her up against the side of the TARDIS —<br/>                    <strong>d1.2.3.</strong> “I didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to kiss you again.”<br/> <strong>4</strong>. Regardless.<br/> <strong>5</strong>. Probably not the best for her mental health<br/> <strong>6</strong>. May also have personal socio-economic repercussions for her.<br/>       <strong>a</strong>. Well economic reasons aren’t really an issue, her one physical asset is the TARDIS, which is priceless, and would thereby destroy any market it was sold on, so there’d be no economy, ergo. Not an issue.</p><p><strong>7</strong>. Yaz and Ryan wouldn’t approve, for personal and moral reasons.<br/><strong>8</strong>. Graham would say something like “oh, I dunno Doc,” and make her feel like a dick.<br/><strong>9</strong>. So it’s many things, and honestly<br/>      <strong>a</strong>. It’s just a bad idea, really.<br/>      <strong>b</strong>. Really.</p><p>She’s doing it. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It’s January 14th, 2013, and she knows that her second-to-last previous self (aka Bowtie, aka Eleven, regardless of how the numbers actually stack up, he was Eleven, and she is the Thirteenth Doctor) anyway, she knows that Bowtie-sans-Eyebrows had a coffee with O after they repelled a Hivey-Vurst viral invasion that O had brought UNIT’s attention to, through HorizonWatcher. Well, O had had a coffee, the Master was a big coffee drinker, always on about beans and coarseness and chocolate notes (Missy had gotten very into it during the last decade of the Vault) and nuttiness (well the Master would know about that) and Eleven would’ve had a cuppa and a meringue. They were in a cafe called Façade, which really - very Master. Disappointingly so. It’d be more impressive if they’d just gone to the Café Nero around the corner. He’s such a drama queen. Always have been, always will be. </p><p>And it would have been at about – the Doctor squints up at the bright winter sun – 11.20 they’d finished up. So, she buys a cappuccino in Australian dollars from a very unamused Café Nero barista and waits around the corner, cappuccino in one hand (four sugars, lovely) and her sonic in the other. The Doctor sips at her cappuccino, wishes she’d gone for the caramel shot as well and waits.</p><p>She doesn’t need to wait long; at 11.22 her previous self walks by with a purposeful stride but still no eyebrows, and the Master-as-O trails behind at around 11.25, presumably having dawdled to kick some puppies into the street or push someone’s grandmother down the stairs. The Doctor swings out of the side-street, collides with O and takes no small pleasure in seeing her cappuccino slop all down the Master’s nicely-made pale grey coat.</p><p>This has several purposes.<br/><br/> • At their core, some people do deserve a cappuccino to the chest.<br/> • She rarely gets a chance to sneak up on the Master when he’s in disguise; she wants to see if the mask can be cracked.<br/> • Yes, in many ways, the Master gave her a gift. He gave her multitudes, even if she can’t really remember any of them right now; even Ruth’s face is blurry in her mind.<br/> • She wants to punch the Master in the face for what he made her do - what he nearly made her do, when they last met. (However, she’s mostly non-violent, but accidents can happen to anyone).</p><p>“Oh, shit!” says the Master, when coffee hits - ah, yes that’s wool, that’s Merino - the coat, and honestly the Doctor thinks she’s really caught him off-guard because there’s a moment of utter fury as he looks up at her, which then shifts smoothly into shock. Faked shock, but shock all the same. Impressive.<br/><br/>If the Doctor also happens to collide with the Master on the right side of his chest, to see how he deals with trying to get her away from his right-side heart, so be it. The Master grabs her shoulders and shifts her back into the side-street.<br/><br/>“Are you okay?” he asks, dark eyes full of (fake) concern. “Miss?”<br/><br/>He knows who she is. The Master always knows. <br/><br/>“Sorry, O, I’m running late, I was coming to meet you and - myself - ”<br/><br/>“Wait, myself?” The Master drops her shoulders. He’s still playing the fool. “Doctor?”<br/><br/>The Doctor lets herself smile. It’s still nice. Odd. Nicely. Oddly comforting to hear the Master saying her name without a snarl.<br/><br/>“Yes, it’s me,” the Doctor says. “I regenerated - you’ve not seen this body yet?”<br/><br/>“No, it’s very - “ the Master touches her shoulders again, steps back and looks her up and down. “You’re blonde.”<br/><br/>“I’ve been blonde before.”<br/><br/>“Yes, but blonde with an…An ‘e’?”<br/><br/>The Doctor has to laugh at that. Ah, the foibles of a language stolen primarily from the French. “Again, been blonde before.” He'd loved her as a blond. Blonde.<br/><br/>“So you’ve changed….sex….gender….” The Master feigns confusion; no Time Lord would actually mix up the differences between sex and gender. “Before?”<br/><br/>Well, not that he knows, that she knows of. “No,” says the Doctor simply. “But I wrecked your coat.”<br/><br/>The Master looks down at his chest. “Ah, it’s fine, I’d wreck a dozen of these if it meant I got to spend more time with you. I’ve only spoken with you for an hour, but - ”<br/><br/>“I remember, we did have a very good connection,” the Doctor says, because they had, because the Master was a manipulative bastard. “And I gave you my number.”<br/><br/>The Master takes a serviette with an inky series of digits on it out of his pocket. “Yes you did! Um, do you remember what we talked about?”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>A brief summary of what the (Eleventh[ish]) Doctor and the Master, masquerading as O, discussed.</em><br/> • How fabulous Amy and Rory were<br/><br/> • The unique intricacies of Hivey-Vurst viral society and why they needed to invade various planets<br/><br/> • Why O was called O, with the Doctor attempting to guess at what O meant<br/><br/>      ⁃ She (as her earlier self) did check his file with UNIT a few months later; Osric.<br/>           ⁃ It means ‘divine ruler’ or ‘rich and powerful.’ She supposes there’s only so many anagrams of Master in the universe.<br/>           ⁃ It can also mean “God.” She’s not going to comment on that one.<br/><br/> • Why O was living all by himself in London, how he could afford to do that, and where his family were.<br/>      ⁃ Sub-category: His family had kicked him out because he’d refused to partake in an arranged marriage to a woman, because he was gay.<br/>           ⁃ Sub-sub-category: This had actually happened to the Master in their youth, sans the incompatible sexualities (that wasn’t an aspect of Gallifreyan marriage practises), though it was more of a partial disownment where he got sent to the outer reaches of the family estate as opposed to O’s fictional tale of woe.<br/>               ⁃ Sub-sub-sub category: The Doctor, in hindsight, had to assume that O’s tale of woe was deliberately constructed to tug at her heartstrings. <br/><br/> • Meringues versus jam tarts (not a patch on jammy dodgers)<br/>      ⁃ Sub-category: This had gotten oddly flirty, in hindsight, to the point where the waitress had asked if they’d been going out long.<br/>            ⁃ Sub-sub-category: Again, in hindsight, the Master might have even set that up with a little bit of quick hypnotism.<br/>                 ⁃ She’d not put it past him. <br/><br/> • Those strange cubes that had popped up all over the place.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“Here and there and everywhere,” the Doctor says, trying to be light and breezy. “Well now I’ve wrecked your coat, I’ll be on my merry way!”<br/><br/>“No!” says the Master quickly. “I mean - I know you just saw me - or I just saw you - ” Gods, he was good at playing befuddled. It was very Hugh Grant in the 1990s, gosh he was fun, she should check in on Hugh and congratulate him for Paddington 2. “I’d like to keep talking, you said you had to go because Amy and Rory were expecting you for breakfast and it’s - ” The Master checks his watch. “It’s nearly 12, Doctor, you’re going to be late.”<br/><br/>“I think you’re telling me a bit past the fact,” the Doctor says. “I made it for lunch. Afternoon tea.” <br/><br/>She takes another swipe at the coffee stain on his coat, over his right heart. For lack of a better option, the Master steps back. <br/><br/>“I live right nearby,” the Master says. “Why don’t you come with me, I’ll put this in to soak, as soon as possible, and. And I’ll make you another coffee because you did spill that one, on me, so it’s partially my fault.”<br/><br/>She never thought she’d live to see the Master take the blame for something. What she says next though, does surprise her.</p><p>What the Doctor said next:<br/> • “Okay.”</p><p>What the Master did next:<br/> • Offered her his arm.</p><p>What the Doctor did next:<br/> • Took it.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><br/>The Master leaves her standing awkwardly in the corridor outside his flat while he nips inside to “clean some things up first.” She’s counted to 15 when she hears his footfalls inside approaching the door, and has a moment where she wants to run, run run and make an excuse the Master would have to know is fake, but then he opens it and grins, and she really did think O was wonderful, and what’s wrong with a little fantasy now and then?<br/><br/>“Do you know what I soak this coat in?” the Master asks, because he’s nothing but realistic in terms of his era-appropriate sexism. <br/><br/>“Bleach?” The Doctor says, and steps past him into O’s tiny flat.<br/><br/>“Maybe I’ll try bicarb soda first,” the Master says. “Please, Doctor, come in. Oh, please take your shoes off, I don’t want mud on the carpet.”<br/><br/>O’s flat is very - early-thirty-something professional, probably. It’s exactly what the Master thinks someone would think that kind of flat would look like, anyway, nice carpet and pale-painted walls with generic art prints (that said, there’s a Bosch in the tiny entry hall, but the Master has to let something slip of himself somewhere), lots of low-slung furniture for villainous lounging (Missy had similarly requested multiple chairs in the Vault) and a couple of pot-plants. Snake plants, to be specific.<br/><br/>“Nice place!” The Doctor says, crossing to the bright kitchen. <br/><br/>“It suits its needs,” the Master says.<br/><br/>He’s filling a large bowl with water. The Doctor watches as he leaves the bowl under the tap to fill up, and he begins to shuck his coat. He’s got a black shirt on beneath, which escaped the cappuccino-ing. Unfortunate. At least it’s well-fitted. That has nothing to do with anything. She takes her own coat off, pretends not to notice how the Master’s eyes flick up, look at her exposed neck, her collarbones. <br/><br/>The Doctor tries to remember what you say when you go into someone’s house and need to be polite. That probably falls under small talk. She’s never been good at small talk, but the silence here is more like tiny talk. Microscopic talk.<br/><br/>“I’ve never been very good at small talk,” the Master says. “Sometimes silence is easier.”<br/><br/> He turns the tap off before bundling his coat into the bowl. He shrugs, pours dishwashing liquid into it instead, smiles at the Doctor. She reaches over, paddles her hand in the bowl until bubbles begin to form.<br/><br/>“Fancy a tea?” He asks.<br/><br/>“Sure. Do you have lemons?”<br/><br/>“I always have lemons,” the Master says, with a grin. “And do you take sugar?”<br/><br/>“Six, please.”<br/><br/>He keeps an admirably straight face. “Is that an alien tastebud thing?” he asks.<br/><br/>The Doctor watches him boil the kettle, slice up lemons, pick out two matching cups. All the cups in the cupboard are the same, all uniform dark purple. That’s how she knows he’s not a real early-thirty-something. Amy and Rory never had all matching cups. Or plates. Or cutlery. Or undies. She saw Rory in his undies a lot.<br/><br/>Eventually, the Doctor is sitting on O’s weirdly low-slung couch while he brings her tea, and a plate of assorted biscuits.<br/><br/>“I found jammy dodgers,” the Master says. “You mentioned you like them.”<br/><br/>“I - “ the Doctor shrugs, puts one in her mouth. Well, it’s not awful. “Very thoughtful. Um.” Small talk, small talk with the Master masquerading as a cute human, while she pretends not to know he’s pretending to be a human. “How long have you lived here?”<br/><br/>“Ten years,” the Master says. “After my parents kicked me out.”<br/><br/>“Pretty expensive for a teenager, this part of London,” the Doctor says.<br/><br/>“Oh, yeah, well I already had a contract with Mi6,” says the Master, smiles. “My old boss, he’s um - he died, Q, he set up a little extra bonus for me when he heard about my situation. Which means, I still have a bathtub.”<br/><br/>“Very nice.”<br/><br/>“I mean, it’s lonely,” says the Master, and points at the television, subtle in a shelving cabinet. “I bought all those DVDs, in case my sister ever reaches out, she’s got kids and I thought if they were here they could watch them.”<br/><br/>The Doctor smiles to herself. “Yes, I was wondering why a grown man would be watching the <em>Clangers</em>. Otherwise you’d be very weird. It’s a ridiculous show.”<br/><br/>The Master doesn’t blink. “Yes, that would be weird.”<br/><br/>The Doctor tips her head at the Master. “Do you miss them? Your family?”<br/><br/>“All the time.” <br/><br/>The Master even meets her eyes as he says it. The Doctor suddenly finds herself feeling very sorry for her previous self. He really knows how to press her buttons - emotionally speaking. <br/>“Do you have a family, Doctor?”<br/><br/>“Not any more,” says the Doctor, and then a sudden burst of anger in her chest makes her reckless. “They died. I thought I’d saved them from - oh, there was this war, you know, and I thought they were all dead. And then they weren’t, it’s a time travel thing, you’d not understand. I thought I could go back, see if my kids, my brother, were okay. But I’ve not been back.”<br/><br/>The Master puts up a good show of misunderstanding. “Why not?”<br/><br/>“Well - ” the Doctor sighs. “I was the reason they weren’t there. Why Gallifrey was gone in the first place.”<br/><br/>“So you’ve not been to your home planet in a long time?”<br/><br/>“A long, long time,” says the Doctor. “Maybe I should go - ”<br/><br/>“No!” The Master says, and then covers by taking a long sip of tea, putting more casualness over the top of his outburst. “I mean, maybe you should wait. If you took part in the war, whatever that war was about, they might be mad at you.”<br/><br/>“They’re usually mad at me,” says the Doctor. “The Time Lords and I have never seen eye to eye. Collar to collar.” Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the corner of the Master’s mouth twitch. Again, there’s a spasm of rage, pain inside her chest, between her hearts. “I mean, I had this one friend, one - partner, when I was a very young man.” <br/><br/>The Master goes very still. <br/><br/>“I loved him a lot,” says the Doctor, and takes a long sip of her tea. “He’s dead now, too.”<br/><br/>“How - ” the Master takes a second to compose himself. “How do you know?”<br/><br/>“It’s easier to think that, when he’s let me down so many times.”<br/><br/>“What do you mean, let you down?”<br/><br/>The Doctor shrugs. “He’s in the past. I’m over him,” she says. “I loved him a lot, once. Once,” she looks at the Master. “Once he was a sweet kid, and he wanted the best for the people he loved, and - “ she needs more tea. There’s a lump in her throat. “And then he changed. I don’t know how, or why really, but he’s gone now.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Reasons the Master - </em>
</p><p><em>Reasons Koschei came to be the Master</em><br/> • A notoriously cruel, formal and tradition-focused family <br/>      ⁃ Even by Time Lord standards<br/>           ⁃ Bit Freudian though.<br/> • A childhood in the loveless and cold Time Lord society<br/>      ⁃ But you know, she’d grown up in the same society and 99.9% of the rest of their peers hadn’t ended up being nut jobs bent on universal domination.<br/> • Looking into the Untempered Schism<br/>      ⁃ But you know, she’d looked into it too.<br/> • Having the drums forced into his head<br/>      ⁃ Okay, this one was unique.<br/> • A drive for control and personal success she’d never been able to temper<br/>     ⁃ Though it wasn’t her job to temper that aspect of Koschei, even when they’d been publicly together as a couple, acknowledged by their families<br/>         ⁃ It was like being married, but for people too busy to go through the six-month ceremony and five year engagement cycle. <br/> • Their drive for advancement that had never been respected or counted<br/>      ⁃ Then again, she kind of had had that as well, and she wasn't the one going round in all black and cackling all the time.<br/> • …<br/> • It’s been so long since they’d been kids on Gallifrey it’s getting harder to remember Koschei at all. <br/>     ⁃ She does know this: he’d been lovely. He’d been so sweet and so kind. And he could run so, so fast.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>“I’m sure he loved you too,” the Master says.<br/><br/>“I think he did,” the Doctor replies, slowly. <br/><br/>She needs to go. This was a very bad idea. The Doctor drains the last of her tea, gets slapped in the face with a wedge of soggy lemon. <br/><br/>“Well, O, I’ve taken up enough of your time,” she says. She stands. “It’s been wonderful, do contact me if there’s another alien invasion, or something.” One he’s going to organise. <br/><br/>“Was it something I said?” The Master stands too. “I’m sorry Doctor, I just think - I’ve never met an alien like you before - “ Technically not a lie, very clever. “I - Doctor, I don’t have any friends.” <br/><br/>Well. That’s not a lie either.<br/><br/>“I’ve just got you,” the Master-as-O finishes.<br/><br/>This tells the Doctor a few things.</p><p> • The Master has definitely been inhabiting this time in history. That she suspected, he always was a bit of a method actor when it came to his schemes.<br/> • The Master has been expanding his pop-culture knowledge beyond his usual oeuvre of HG Wells novels, Orson Welles films, Carolyn Wells’ poetry, Jair-Rôhm Parker Wells’ music and <em>Clangers</em> tapes.<br/> • Because they (she and Missy) watched the first episode of BBC <em>Sherlock</em> in the Vault but the Doctor binned the DVDs afterwards because she (he) could feel Arthur Conan Doyle shouting at him (her) in her (his) head.<br/> • Basically, the Master’s been spending his time as O cuddled up on the couch watching <em>Sherlock</em>.</p><p>“What an admission,” the Doctor says, and thinks about how she’d usually react in this situation. A promise for a trip in time and space, usually, with zero-gravity milkshakes on Ganymede for afters. “I’m sorry to hear that O.”<br/><br/>“I thought we had a connection, now I’ve made things awkward,” the Master says. He sits again. “I’m sorry, please go, if you want.”<br/><br/>The Doctor should leave. She should want to leave. She shouldn’t want to a) stay and b) stay, but also twist the knife.<br/><br/>She sits beside him, and pats his knee. The Master’s eyes briefly flick down to his leg in shock and - she wants to say awe. If she focusses she thinks she can taste wonder leaking from his mind.<br/><br/>“Um,” the Doctor says. “To be honest. You remind me of someone, from a long, long time ago, and it hurts my hearts a little to see so much of him in you.”<br/><br/>The Master makes a noise. There’s a lot in it. It can be read as an “oh, I’m sorry to have inadvertently upset you” noise, as he thinks she’s completely fooled as to his real identity. It also has an edge of “oh, shit I better tone up the human and down the familiarity lest she figure me out. Haha. I am evil, I’m the Master. I’m so sneaky.”<br/><br/>“I can assure you, I’m not him,” the Master says, and he touches her elbow. <br/><br/>Usually she hates being touched; even through layers. And yet, she doesn’t flinch. The Doctor turns to face O - to face the Master. He’s got wonderful eyes, this time around. Actually, he and Missy both had amazing eyes. Missy’s were striking. This version, they’re dark. She was once forbidden by Dorothy Parker from using the word “limpid” but this version of the Master’s eyes come close. They’re like the spaces between stars, and the dark, rich earth the Shabogans used to grow food for the Capitol. She and Koschei would cross those fields when playing on his family’s property, under the shadow of the mountain. <br/><br/>“Doctor?”<br/><br/>“Hm?”<br/><br/>“Would you like to stay? Perhaps watch something?"<br/><br/>“Do you have anything other than the Clangers?”<br/><br/>The Master opens up a drawer in the coffee table, riffles through some of the DVDs lined up - in chronological order, by year of original release it seems - and selects something French from the early 1990s. <br/><br/>“Time travel themed,” he says. “You can point out the inconsistencies.”<br/><br/>It’s a good film. Probably. The Master forgets to play act and ask her if she can understand the film without subtitles (obviously). It is funny, and at least slapstick doesn’t really require her to pay attention. She’s a bit scattered at the best of times, but O, probably not even realising, sits beside her with his arm stretched out along the back of the couch. If she looks one way, she can see his slender, lovely fingers. The other way means she can see the corner of his jaw, the curve of his ear. He’s got such silky, dark hair now. The Master makes a good show of being absorbed by the film - though they’ve always been good at that kind of deep focus, perhaps he really does like comedies about temporally-displaced knights – <br/><br/>Her back hurts from sitting up straight; not letting a single part of her even brush against the Master. It’s weird, again, usually she just manages to avoid touch. It’s natural, it’s simple - <br/><br/>“Can I get you a pillow for your back?” he asks.<br/><br/>His voice seems to travel through the couch, through her chest. <br/><br/>“Oh, I didn’t even realise I was sitting funny, the film is so good, I didn’t even realise. It’s funny.”<br/><br/>The Doctor allows her spine to bend, and somehow she twists a little and she ends up leaning against O’s side. He’s warm, and he smells good, and a little bit like cappuccino. Maybe it’s good she didn’t get the caramel shot. <br/><br/>“Are you sitting comfortably?”<br/><br/>“Yes, thanks,” says the Doctor. <br/><br/>“Actually, hang on. You know, I might make us some popcorn.”<br/><br/>They finish <em>Les Visiteurs,</em> and then O puts on the Welles’ version of <em>The Trial</em>, and the Doctor’s not only seen that one before, but she helped with the editing and always regrets one of the cuts she put in during the opening sequence. So, she closes her eyes for a bit, and then she’s very warm and full of popcorn-with-banana-honey-chips and she might doze off.<br/><br/>When she does eventually wake up, O’s covered her with a finely-knitted blanket in soft shades of purple and stuffed a pillow under her head. The Doctor manages to keep her eyes closed as she wakes up, listens to O humming under his breath as the end credits roll. The couch shifts as he leans forward, takes his cup of tea. There’s something comforting and familiar about this whole situation, and as she relaxes into it, it sends a jolt of nausea and confusion roiling through her stomach. She bites the inside of her mouth, keeps her face calm.<br/><br/>A warm hand on her shoulder. O squeezes, twice. <br/><br/>“Doctor,” he says. “Do you want to wake up?”<br/><br/>It’s comforting, until she remembers. The Doctor fake-stirs; if the Master’s going to pretend he can’t tell when she’s awake, she’s going to pretend she wasn’t awake at all. <br/><br/>“Doctor?”<br/><br/>“Mmpf?”<br/><br/>“You’ve been asleep for about two hours, I didn’t know if that was an appropriate amount of time for a Time Lord to sleep, but I don’t like to sleep during the day very often, and - ”<br/><br/>The Doctor sits up, rubs her eye, yawns. “I don’t usually sleep at all. I guess you’re just a very - I think I just feel very relaxed around you. You’re a good person.”<br/><br/>O gives her a funny, sad smile. He reaches across, tucks her hair behind her ear, lets his hand rest against her cheek. The Doctor covers his hand with hers.<br/><br/>The Doctor takes O’s face, kisses him gently on the lips. They’re soft, warm and full, the way she remembers back in the outback. This is, in many ways, like the outback in reverse. She’s the one who knows what’s going on here. O makes a surprised noise and returns the kiss. He kisses her back softly, his tongue brushing along her lower lip; his hand makes its way under the blanket, trails up her leg-inside her trousers, very clever - and cups her knee. That sends a tingle along her skin.<br/><br/>The Doctor runs her thumbs along O’s cheeks, feels the tiny pinpricks of stubble that are just starting to emerge, contrasting with the softness of his face. O makes a low noise at the back of his throat, and pulls away. His hand stays on her leg, his fingers warm and rough.<br/><br/>“Doctor,” O says, his voice tight. “You’re wonderful, but I’m not interested in women.”<br/><br/>“Ah,” the Doctor says, and all of a sudden she remembers that <br/><br/> • This isn’t O, this is <em>the Master</em><br/> • This is the Master playing O<br/> • And the Master is showing admirable dedication to the role<br/>      ⁃ He’s always done that.<br/><br/>“I’m - ” the Doctor begins, still holding his face, the Master’s hand firm on the back of her neck, her hair tangled in his fingers. She tries again. “I’m sorry - ” She pretends not to see he’s hard in his Sensible Work Pants. It must have been a while for him. “I’m sorry,” she says. “Though to be fair, I’m not even human.”<br/><br/>If she looks hard enough into his eyes, she thinks she can see the Master internally weighing up the pros and cons of the situation.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><em>Pros [presumably]:</em><br/> • He’s got the Doctor right where he wants her (he thinks)<br/> • He’s not had sex in a very long time <br/>      ⁃ In fact, if the Doctor knows the Master (and she thought she did) he’s probably not been with anyone.<br/> • He’s just not interested in beings who aren’t her<br/>      ⁃ Lucy Saxon wasn’t so much an exception as a prop and a punching bag (poor Lucy)</p><p><em>Cons [probably]:</em><br/> • He’s constructed O as a gay man from 2012 so he’s less likely to be believably open to having sex with a female-presenting, female-identifying humanoid.<br/> • There’s always a little psychic intermingling when Time Lords are intimate. It’s just part of the act. That’s a risk. <br/> • He’s got his big stupid plan with his creatures of light and the silver lady and Daniel “Badly Named Search Engine” Barton. It’s all about timing, and this could throw it off.<br/>      ⁃ Of course she knows what vore is. This isn’t her first time around the universe.</p><p>Again though:<br/><em>Pros [presumably]:</em><br/> • He’s not had sex in a very long time<br/>      ⁃ Specifically, he’s not had sex with the Doctor in a very, very long time.<br/>           ⁃ The last time had been quiet and melancholy and loving, in a house in a field of daffodils surrounded by death, and she can’t think about those times right now.</p><p><em>Cons</em>:<br/> •  —<br/> • </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p><br/>They have sex, right there on his couch. It’s a little awkward, what with the cushions and the coffee-table and the angle, but this is something they’ve always been good at, no matter who they’re pretending to be or wherever they are. The TV keeps playing in the background and there’s something weirdly - novel about that. Like they’re each other’s high school crushes, just pretending to hang out platonically. Then again, they were in the Time Lord equivalent of high school when they got together originally, almost just like this. <br/><br/>It was easier back then; both emotionally and physically. Robes are easier to remove than trousers and suspenders.<br/><br/>He’s a lot more gentle than she’s used to, as well. Tender. Cautious might be the word. It’s part of the character, she knows, and thinks if this was how sex was when they were both together as themselves, well. It would probably get….boring? She’s never known sex to be boring. <br/><br/>After a brief doze, the Doctor wakes to finds herself trapped, pressed into the couch’s back by O - by the Master–and almost tucked against his chest as he half-dozes, teetering on the edge of the couch cushions.<br/><br/>“Hey,” she says, giving up and giving in. She reaches up, brushes his hair across his forehead, so it’s out of his eyes. “Wake up.”<br/><br/>The Master opens his big, dark eyes. “Hm? Are you cold?” <br/><br/>She’s not, but the Master is always cold. He turns and sits up, his broad shoulders more impressive from this angle. He finds the blanket where it ended up on the floor and draws it over both of them before lying back down again.<br/><br/>“Never done that before,” he says, when they’re almost nose to nose.<br/><br/>“You seemed to know your way around.”<br/><br/>“Alright, well. My second ever boyfriend, he was transgender, and hadn’t transitioned very far, so uh. Yeah.” He smiles at her, sheepish, and he’s beautiful. “But never done that with a woman before.”<br/><br/>The Doctor kisses him, pressing their bodies together to warm him up. “Are you okay?”<br/><br/>“I am, I am. You’re too wonderful to have any regrets or worries about.” He kisses her forehead. “And you?”<br/><br/>“I’m swell,” says the Doctor, then pulls a face. “Except that I just said swell. I will have to go in a minute though.” She needs to go. She needs to leave.<br/><br/>“Why?”<br/><br/>“I have plans,” she says. “Dinner plans. I’m going - ” she’s cut off when he kisses her again. “Coat shopping with Janis Joplin.”<br/><br/>“Do you ever name-drop famous dead people just to see how humans - us humans - react?”<br/><br/>A slip-up. She decides to be honest. “Yeah, sometimes. This time though, it’s for real.”<br/><br/>“Sure it is. Can I kiss you again?”<br/><br/>“I don’t see why not,” the Doctor says, and she kisses him instead. He smiles against her mouth, cupping her face, and she wants to hurt him. “You’re lovely, O.”<br/><br/>He doesn’t outwardly react, but she feels his pulses speed up. This was a bad idea, but she can’t bring herself to feel it. The Master wraps his arm around her waist, strokes her back, running his fingertips along her shoulderblades. She kisses him again, and he kisses her back, pressing her into the couch.<br/><br/>“Stay the night,” he says. “Please.”</p><p>That request is many things, including:<br/><br/> • Morally questionable<br/> • Ethically questionable<br/> • A violation of the rules and laws of time <br/> • A bad idea<br/>      ⁃ A very bad idea.</p><p>• Regardless.</p><p>“Okay,” she whispers, and she does.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. DVD Commentary</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This is many things, including</p><p><strong>1</strong>. Morally questionable<br/>
<strong>2</strong>. Ethically questionable<br/>
<strong>3</strong>. A violation of the rules and laws of time <br/>
      <strong>a</strong>. That said, she is the last of the Time Lords <br/>
      <strong>b</strong>. And apparently she’s sort of, kind of…the ur-Time Lord, so really doesn’t she make the rules.<br/>
      <strong>c</strong>. So she really is sort of In Charge of that<br/>
      <strong>d</strong>. Actually, in hindsight there is a closed loop aspect she should probably look into, and there’s no time like the present<br/>
           <strong>d1</strong>. (There’s no such thing as the present if we’re being very technical)<br/>
                <strong>d1.2.</strong> The closed loop aspect involves O whispering in her ear in the outback as he’d pressed her up against the side of the TARDIS —<br/>
                    <strong>d1.2.3.</strong> “I didn’t think I’d be lucky enough to kiss you again.” <strong>Loving fragments of other scenes right now. We can all imagine our own way and context in which O pressed her up against the TARDIS, and how he said that to her. </strong><br/>
 <strong>4</strong>. Regardless.<br/>
 <strong>5</strong>. Probably not the best for her mental health<br/>
 <strong>6</strong>. May also have personal socio-economic repercussions for her.<br/>
       <strong>a</strong>. Well economic reasons aren’t really an issue, her one physical asset is the TARDIS, which is priceless, and would thereby destroy any market it was sold on, so there’d be no economy, ergo. Not an issue.</p><p><strong>7</strong>. Yaz and Ryan wouldn’t approve, for personal and moral reasons.<br/>
<strong>8</strong>. Graham would say something like “oh, I dunno Doc,” and make her feel like a dick.<br/>
<strong>9</strong>. So it’s many things, and honestly<br/>
      <strong>a</strong>. It’s just a bad idea, really.<br/>
      <strong>b</strong>. Really.</p><p>She’s doing it. <strong>I had the lists in here from very early on, the worst part of it all was FORMATTING THEM. So many indents. So many space bars. I'm sure there is an easy way of doing it but I googled it and couldn't figure it out, so yep. It was all done with spaces and tears. The lists are a good way I think of showing 13's sort of. Brain thinking. Fastness. I'm tired.<br/>
</strong></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>It’s January 14th, 2013, and she knows that her second-to-last previous self (aka Bowtie, aka Eleven, regardless of how the numbers actually stack up, he was Eleven, and she is the Thirteenth Doctor) <strong>I did see some folks trying to rename 13 as like....Doctor 14 because of John Hurt's War Doctor, back in the day, and 12 as 13 and....it's gonna be a no from me dawg, she's the 13th Doctor because she's the 13th Doctor, regardless of how many other bodies they had....</strong> anyway, she knows that Bowtie-sans-Eyebrows had a coffee with O after they repelled a Hivey-Vurst <strong>I named this after a mushing together of two of my close friend's surnames, alien names are hard </strong>viral invasion that O had brought UNIT’s attention to, through HorizonWatcher. Well, O had had a coffee, the Master was a big coffee drinker, always on about beans and coarseness and chocolate notes (Missy had gotten very into it during the last decade of the Vault) and nuttiness (well the Master would know about that) <strong>*cymbal-ting* I did want to fit in a Melbourne joke here but it felt a little bit wanky. Which is the most Melbourne thing of all.</strong> and Eleven would’ve had a cuppa and a meringue. They were in a cafe called Façade, which really - very Master. Disappointingly so. It’d be more impressive if they’d just gone to the Café Nero around the corner. He’s such a drama queen. Always have been, always will be. </p><p>And it would have been at about – the Doctor squints up at the bright winter sun – 11.20 they’d finished up. So, she buys a cappuccino in Australian dollars from a very unamused Café Nero barista and waits around the corner, cappuccino in one hand (four sugars, lovely) and her sonic in the other. The Doctor sips at her cappuccino, wishes she’d gone for the caramel shot as well and waits. <strong>So I'm from the Melbourne area(ish) in Aussie, and we're in our second lockdown because of a recentish virus outbreak here, and in all honesty I'm dealing with this lockdown better but both lockdowns we've had there have been/were multiple occasions where I teared up watching Friends because I just wanted to go to a cafe and listen to the hustle bustle and hear people. I also got a bit emo writing this bit. The punchline is, I don't like most coffee and usually get tea or hot chocolate when I go out. The second punchline is it seems black tea has begun triggering my FODMAP issues. </strong></p><p>She doesn’t need to wait long; at 11.22 <strong>11.22 because 11(th Doctor), two bodies ago = 11x2 = 22</strong> her previous self walks by with a purposeful stride but still no eyebrows, <strong>I like how that little bit of humour sneaks up on you</strong> and the Master-as-O trails behind at around 11.25, presumably having dawdled to kick some puppies into the street or push someone’s grandmother down the stairs. The Doctor swings out of the side-street, collides with O and takes no small pleasure in seeing her cappuccino slop all down the Master’s nicely-made pale grey coat. </p><p>This has several purposes.<br/>
<br/>
 • At their core, some people do deserve a cappuccino to the chest. <strong>True.</strong><br/>
 • She rarely gets a chance to sneak up on the Master when he’s in disguise; she wants to see if the mask can be cracked.<br/>
 • Yes, in many ways, the Master gave her a gift. He gave her multitudes, even if she can’t really remember any of them right now; even Ruth’s face is blurry in her mind. <strong>Am excited to see how they deal with TTC stuff in the new season now I've had time to adjust, but I think this is how they'll deal with it. </strong><br/>
 • She wants to punch the Master in the face for what he made her do - what he nearly made her do, when they last met. (However, she’s mostly non-violent, but accidents can happen to anyone). <strong>Let's hope they physically fight if the Master comes back, I'm the worst Doctor Who fan ever, I really do love the companions but I have so little to add to them that is original so [gestures at entire fanfic catalogue]</strong></p><p>“Oh, shit!” says the Master, when coffee hits - ah, yes that’s wool, that’s Merino <strong>Australian Merino, at that. Did you know in both World Wars the British government bought out Australia's entire wool stock?</strong> - the coat, and honestly the Doctor thinks she’s really caught him off-guard because there’s a moment of utter fury as he looks up at her, which then shifts smoothly into shock. <strong>Sort of "Fucking human dumbass" to "fucking doctor dumbass" to "fucking hell, the Doctor?" </strong>Faked shock, but shock all the same. Impressive.<br/>
<br/>
If the Doctor also happens to collide with the Master on the right side of his chest, to see how he deals with trying to get her away from his right-side heart, so be it. The Master grabs her shoulders and shifts her back into the side-street. <strong>I meant to build on this more, the Master trying to keep the Doctor away from that part of his chest, but it was only really relevant when they were physically intimate and I cut most of that stuff out, and then there was going to be like. A fake bandage on his pec and he'd be like "oh I got hurt at training with Mi6 please don't lean on that side of my chest," so when they were in bed together it wouldn't be a thing, but it got clunky and annoying and I went snip snip snip. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Are you okay?” he asks, dark eyes full of (fake) concern. “Miss?”<br/>
<br/>
He knows who she is. The Master always knows. <strong>[whispers] Always.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Sorry, O, I’m running late, I was coming to meet you and - myself - ”<br/>
<br/>
“Wait, myself?” The Master drops her shoulders. He’s still playing the fool. “Doctor?”<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor lets herself smile. It’s still nice. Odd. Nicely. Oddly comforting to hear the Master saying her name without a snarl. <strong>Mm, the yearning. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Yes, it’s me,” the Doctor says. “I regenerated - you’ve not seen this body yet?”<br/>
<br/>
“No, it’s very - “ the Master touches her shoulders again, <strong>touching her from the word go, and getting away with it, </strong>steps back and looks her up and down. “You’re blonde.”<br/>
<br/>
“I’ve been blonde before.”<br/>
<br/>
“Yes, but blonde with an…An ‘e’?”<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor has to laugh at that. Ah, the foibles of a language stolen primarily from the French. “Again, been blonde before.” He'd loved her as a blond. Blonde. <strong>I felt very clever when I wrote this bit and then realised it's almost certainly been done before. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“So you’ve changed….sex….gender….” The Master feigns confusion; no Time Lord would actually mix up the differences between sex and gender. “Before?”<br/>
<br/>
Well, not that he knows, that she knows of. “No,” says the Doctor simply. “But I wrecked your coat.”<br/>
<br/>
The Master looks down at his chest. “Ah, it’s fine, I’d wreck a dozen of these if it meant I got to spend more time with you. I’ve only spoken with you for an hour, but - ” <strong>God he's such a bastard.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“I remember, we did have a very good connection,” the Doctor says, because they had, because the Master was a manipulative bastard. “And I gave you my number.”<br/>
<br/>
The Master takes a serviette with an inky series of digits on it out of his pocket. <strong>Eleven, kicking it old school. I kind of feel like the Master had Eleven write it down like that so he'd have the Doctor's handwriting, and also, so the Doctor couldn't even be near his phone.</strong> “Yes you did! Um, do you remember what we talked about?”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><em>A brief summary of what the (Eleventh[ish]) Doctor and the Master, masquerading as O, discussed.</em><br/>
 • How fabulous Amy and Rory were <strong>Truly except for the ending, I'm trying to be less negative but good GOD</strong><br/>
 • The unique intricacies of Hivey-Vurst viral society and why they needed to invade various planets<br/>
<br/>
 • Why O was called O, with the Doctor attempting to guess at what O meant<br/>
<br/>
      ⁃ She (as her earlier self) did check his file with UNIT a few months later; Osric.<br/>
           ⁃ It means ‘divine ruler’ or ‘rich and powerful.’ She supposes there’s only so many anagrams of Master in the universe.<br/>
           ⁃ It can also mean “God.” She’s not going to comment on that one. <strong>If anyone was still wondering why I always call O "Osric" and will continue to do so. It also struck me that it was kind of an old-school name and I feel like a lot of the people *my* age who were born in Australia to parents who'd migrated here, who weren't British/Western European, often got very old fashioned but European/British names. I don't know why, or if that is a thing, but it is a thing that I think it is a thing. </strong><br/>
<br/>
 • Why O was living all by himself in London, how he could afford to do that, and where his family were.<br/>
      ⁃ Sub-category: His family had kicked him out because he’d refused to partake in an arranged marriage to a woman, because he was gay. <strong>He's not explicitly Hindu here, but he is in my other main O-story (ha) and the reasons I had the Master make O be from a Hindu (presumably Indian) background as opposed to</strong> <strong>Muslim (presumably Pakistani) ala Yaz, was, so a) he'd be the religious "counter" to Yaz (though we've not really seen much of Yaz's faith in the show, except when she mentions going to the mosque, and how her grandma gets married to that ridiculously hot guy in Demons of the Punjab) I mean a day without Indian-Pakistani nuclear tension is just a day without sunshine really (my undergrad was in International Studies and History) AND b) Islam is the media's favourite "bad" religion and often touted as backwards when in fact, every Muslim person I know and all the imams I've talked to are 100% in favour of, say same-sex marriage and LGBTQ+ rights and women's advancement and so I went "O's fake background is Hindu." And, sub-section to point b) as I have said before, a lot of the anti-LGBTQ+ stuff in some Hindu groups is actually a vestige of colonialism and conservative British ideas. Where were we? </strong><br/>
           ⁃ Sub-sub-category: This had actually happened to the Master in their youth, sans the incompatible sexualities (that wasn’t an aspect of Gallifreyan marriage practises), though it was more of a partial disownment where he got sent to the outer reaches of the family estate as opposed to O’s fictional tale of woe.<br/>
               ⁃ Sub-sub-sub category: The Doctor, in hindsight, had to assume that O’s tale of woe was deliberately constructed to tug at her heartstrings. <strong>Twas but it is also easier to remember lies when they're based on the truth. </strong><br/>
<br/>
 • Meringues versus jam tarts (not a patch on jammy dodgers)<br/>
      ⁃ Sub-category: This had gotten oddly flirty, in hindsight, to the point where the waitress had asked if they’d been going out long.<br/>
            ⁃ Sub-sub-category: Again, in hindsight, the Master might have even set that up with a little bit of quick hypnotism.<br/>
                 ⁃ She’d not put it past him. <strong>I should've put this scene in but I choose to believe the waitress genuinely was just digging their vibe and so the Master was secretly like "oh boy oh boy we're Connecting this is Great I'm gonna hurt him so much when he finds out who I really am" etc etc </strong><br/>
<br/>
 • Those strange cubes that had popped up all over the place. <strong>This was slapped in to put it in the greater Doctor Who timeline, if such a thing can truly exist. I did not rewatch the episode or check any details, so it's just like any other episode of Doctor Who following a regeneration lmao</strong></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“Here and there and everywhere,” <strong>This! Was meant to invoke the Beatles song. Deep. </strong>the Doctor says, trying to be light and breezy. “Well now I’ve wrecked your coat, I’ll be on my merry way!” <strong>She's just telling the truth here, ha. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“No!” says the Master quickly. “I mean - I know you just saw me - or I just saw you - ” Gods, he was good at playing befuddled. It was very Hugh Grant in the 1990s, gosh he was fun, she should check in on Hugh and congratulate him for Paddington 2. <strong>I forgot to italicise it whyyyy but also omg Hugh Grant in Paddington 2 is Magnificent, that entire film is a triumph. It wasn't until like, yesterday I remembered Hugh Grant played 'the pretty doctor' in the Curse of Fatal Death and they also asked him to play the Doctor when the show was originally revived. </strong>“I’d like to keep talking, you said you had to go because Amy and Rory were expecting you for breakfast and it’s - ” The Master checks his watch. “It’s nearly 12, Doctor, you’re going to be late.”<br/>
<br/>
“I think you’re telling me a bit past the fact,” the Doctor says. “I made it for lunch. Afternoon tea.” <br/>
<br/>
She takes another swipe at the coffee stain on his coat, over his right heart. <strong>As I said, there was going to be more made of this, but then there wasn't. </strong>For lack of a better option, the Master steps back. <br/>
<br/>
“I live right nearby,” the Master says. “Why don’t you come with me, I’ll put this in to soak, as soon as possible, and. And I’ll make you another coffee because you did spill that one, on me, so it’s partially my fault.”<br/>
<br/>
She never thought she’d live to see the Master take the blame for something. What she says next though, does surprise her.</p><p>What the Doctor said next:<br/>
 • “Okay.”</p><p>What the Master did next:<br/>
 • Offered her his arm.</p><p>What the Doctor did next:<br/>
 • Took it.</p><p>
  <strong>Why a list here? It seemed a good idea at the time, but it was sort of meant to make it feel like....inevitable, like she knew she'd never get out of just dumping a coffee on him and running off, but didn't admit that to herself. So it's like, the audience knew it would happen and we're all like "doctor nooooo" but she goes outside to investigate the noise in the horror film anyway. </strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
The Master leaves her standing awkwardly in the corridor outside his flat while he nips inside to “clean some things up first.” <strong>As squid pointed out, the Master was running around like "fuck, fuck, fuck" </strong>She’s counted to 15 when she hears his footfalls inside approaching the door, and has a moment where she wants to run, run run and make an excuse the Master would have to know is fake, but then he opens it and grins, and she really did think O was wonderful, and what’s wrong with a little fantasy now and then? <strong>And we're all like "No, Doctor don't go in, there's a monster behind the door and the light is flickering."</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Do you know what I soak this coat in?” the Master asks, because he’s nothing but realistic in terms of his era-appropriate sexism. <strong>It is hard sometimes, matching Simm!Master's sexism and racism to Missy and Dhawan!Master, and also back to the original Masters, because they were you know, gentlemen? Anyway this is my attempt. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Bleach?” The Doctor says, and steps past him into O’s tiny flat. <strong>Which is just a different way of saying "fuck you."</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Maybe I’ll try bicarb soda first,” the Master says. “Please, Doctor, come in. Oh, please take your shoes off, I don’t want mud on the carpet.” <strong>This was added in later, take your shoes off, to make the sex scene run smoother, but then I cut that, so. Also people who wear their shoes around their own houses are weird 90% of the time. </strong><br/>
<br/>
O’s flat is very - early-thirty-something professional, probably. It’s exactly what the Master thinks someone would think that kind of flat would look like, anyway, nice carpet and pale-painted walls with generic art prints (that said, there’s a Bosch in the tiny entry hall, but the Master has to let something slip of himself somewhere), lots of low-slung furniture for villainous lounging (Missy had similarly requested multiple chairs in the Vault <strong>why did she have so many chairs, why were there no covers on the bed......</strong>) and a couple of pot-plants. Snake plants, to be specific. <strong>Because snakes. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Nice place!” The Doctor says, crossing to the bright kitchen. <br/>
<br/>
“It suits its needs,” the Master says.<br/>
<br/>
He’s filling a large bowl with water. The Doctor watches as he leaves the bowl under the tap to fill up, and he begins to shuck his coat. He’s got a black shirt on beneath, which escaped the cappuccino-ing. Unfortunate. At least it’s well-fitted. That has nothing to do with anything. <strong>Stupid sexy FLanders. </strong>She takes her own coat off, pretends not to notice how the Master’s eyes flick up, look at her exposed neck, her collarbones. <strong>I meant let's be real 13's outfit is VERY much like what I wear in my day to day life but she's like a stripper compared to the rest of the Doctor(s). </strong><br/>
<br/>
The Doctor tries to remember what you say when you go into someone’s house and need to be polite. That probably falls under small talk. She’s never been good at small talk, but the silence here is more like tiny talk. Microscopic talk.<br/>
<br/>
“I’ve never been very good at small talk,” the Master says. “Sometimes silence is easier.” <strong>As we see her doing later, the Master could be dipping into the very edge of her brain but I honestly think he just knows how she's feeling because he <em>knows</em> her. (Biblically). (Up the bum). </strong><br/>
<br/>
 He turns the tap off before bundling his coat into the bowl. He shrugs, pours dishwashing liquid into it instead, smiles at the Doctor. She reaches over, paddles her hand in the bowl until bubbles begin to form.<br/>
<br/>
“Fancy a tea?” He asks. <strong>O says "fancy a cuppa" in Spyfall so I just rejiggered it.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Sure. Do you have lemons?”<br/>
<br/>
“I always have lemons,” the Master says, with a grin. “And do you take sugar?”<br/>
<br/>
“Six, please.”<br/>
<br/>
He keeps an admirably straight face. “Is that an alien tastebud thing?” he asks.<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor watches him boil the kettle, slice up lemons, pick out two matching cups. All the cups in the cupboard are the same, all uniform dark purple. That’s how she knows he’s not a real early-thirty-something. Amy and Rory never had all matching cups. Or plates. Or cutlery. Or undies. She saw Rory in his undies a lot.<strong> After publishing I was like 'eh a British person would say 'pants' not 'undies' but. Too late, can't be bothered. Originally the Doc was going to look through his cupboards and there'd be human stuff in there but like. The Wrong kin of stuff, but she'd not know, only WE would know, like....cheese flavoured two minute noodles, lots of jars of jam but no bread etc etc. It got a bit too complex and wasn't really adding anything that we can't get from knowing he has all matching crockery and cutlery. Like, we saw O's cottage and it was a Very human space so it's like he was relearning how to fool people. </strong><br/>
<br/>
Eventually, the Doctor is sitting on O’s weirdly low-slung couch while he brings her tea, and a plate of assorted biscuits.<br/>
<br/>
“I found jammy dodgers,” the Master says. “You mentioned you like them.”<br/>
<br/>
“I - “ the Doctor shrugs, puts one in her mouth. Well, it’s not awful. <strong>I love the Doctor's changing tastebuds also most biscuits are shit byeeeeee vanilla shortbread and gingernuts 4lyfe </strong>“Very thoughtful. Um.” Small talk, small talk with the Master masquerading as a cute human, <strong>cute is there for you to miss, and then realise it's sitting in plain sight,</strong> while she pretends not to know he’s pretending to be a human. “How long have you lived here?”<br/>
<br/>
“Ten years,” the Master says. “After my parents kicked me out.”<br/>
<br/>
“Pretty expensive for a teenager, this part of London,” the Doctor says.<br/>
<br/>
“Oh, yeah, well I already had a contract with Mi6,” says the Master, smiles. “My old boss, he’s um - he died, Q, he set up a little extra bonus for me when he heard about my situation. Which means, I still have a bathtub.” <strong>And there was gonna be a bath scene, with him in the bath and the Doctor watching but it just didn't add anything, but it does kind of show that I'm getting better at writing tight dialogue. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Very nice.”<br/>
<br/>
“I mean, it’s lonely,” says the Master, and points at the television, subtle in a shelving cabinet. “I bought all those DVDs, in case my sister ever reaches out, she’s got kids and I thought if they were here they could watch them.” <strong>The Master missed those DVDs during his cleaning run. This is also a clue that the Master does sort of live in the flat at least sometimes. It is in a nice part of London, and he does have a job after all. </strong><br/>
<br/>
The Doctor smiles to herself. “Yes, I was wondering why a grown man would be watching the <em>Clangers</em>. Otherwise you’d be very weird. It’s a ridiculous show.”<br/>
<br/>
The Master doesn’t blink. “Yes, that would be weird.”<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor tips her head at the Master. “Do you miss them? Your family?”<br/>
<br/>
“All the time.” <br/>
<br/>
The Master even meets her eyes as he says it. The Doctor suddenly finds herself feeling very sorry for her previous self. He really knows how to press her buttons - emotionally speaking. <strong>So now we're saying that stuff explicitly.<br/>
</strong><br/>
“Do you have a family, Doctor?” <strong>Ah he's such a fucker, he knoooows, and she knows. What a fucker. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Not any more,” says the Doctor, and then a sudden burst of anger in her chest makes her reckless. “They died. I thought I’d saved them from - oh, there was this war, you know, and I thought they were all dead. And then they weren’t, it’s a time travel thing, you’d not understand. I thought I could go back, see if my kids, my brother, were okay. But I’ve not been back.”<br/>
<br/>
The Master puts up a good show of misunderstanding. “Why not?”<br/>
<br/>
“Well - ” the Doctor sighs. “I was the reason they weren’t there. Why Gallifrey was gone in the first place.”<br/>
<br/>
“So you’ve not been to your home planet in a long time?”<br/>
<br/>
“A long, long time,” says the Doctor. “Maybe I should go - ”<br/>
<br/>
“No!” The Master says, and then covers by taking a long sip of tea, putting more casualness over the top of his outburst. “I mean, maybe you should wait. If you took part in the war, whatever that war was about, they might be mad at you.” <strong>The Master probs always had contingencies for if the Doctor did go home early, but he also knows her, and the Doctor doesn't go home unless she's called <strike>thinks about the 50th anniversary and gets annoyed about the "i'm going home" monologue </strike> or forced to go home. He knows her. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“They’re usually mad at me,” says the Doctor. “The Time Lords and I have never seen eye to eye. Collar to collar.” Out of the corner of her eye, she sees the corner of the Master’s mouth twitch. Again, there’s a spasm of rage, pain inside her chest, between her hearts. <strong>Because like. They're friends but he's a horrible horrible being.</strong> “I mean, I had this one friend, one - partner, when I was a very young man.” <br/>
<br/>
The Master goes very still. <strong>And now he's like "fuck, has she started to tell her companions about me, but not me? About her past?" Because of O's "you don't know shit about the Doctor" moment with Graham in Spyfall. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“I loved him a lot,” says the Doctor, and takes a long sip of her tea. “He’s dead now, too.” <strong>Both Koschei, and he thinks she's post-Missy, pre-him, so the Master too. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“How - ” the Master takes a second to compose himself. “How do you know?”<br/>
<br/>
“It’s easier to think that, when he’s let me down so many times.”<br/>
<br/>
“What do you mean, let you down?”<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor shrugs. “He’s in the past. I’m over him,” she says. “I loved him a lot, once. Once,” she looks at the Master. <strong>This is meant to invoke the "and has it calmed all the rage" stare/line, she's looking him straight in the eye and saying "I don't love you any more."</strong> “Once he was a sweet kid, and he wanted the best for the people he loved, and - “ she needs more tea. There’s a lump in her throat. “And then he changed. I don’t know how, or why really, but he’s gone now.”</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <em>Reasons the Master - </em>
</p><p><em>Reasons Koschei came to be the Master</em><br/>
 • A notoriously cruel, formal and tradition-focused family <br/>
      ⁃ Even by Time Lord standards<br/>
           ⁃ Bit Freudian though. <strong>Legit my thought whenever I start thinking about the Master's childhood. </strong><br/>
 • A childhood in the loveless and cold Time Lord society<br/>
      ⁃ But you know, she’d grown up in the same society and 99.9% of the rest of their peers hadn’t ended up being nut jobs bent on universal domination. <strong>Because that's the thing isn't it??? A lot of people had bad childhoods!!! How manY? SO MANY. </strong><br/>
 • Looking into the Untempered Schism<br/>
      ⁃ But you know, she’d looked into it too.<br/>
 • Having the drums forced into his head<br/>
      ⁃ Okay, this one was unique.<br/>
 • A drive for control and personal success she’d never been able to temper<br/>
     ⁃ Though it wasn’t her job to temper that aspect of Koschei, even when they’d been publicly together as a couple, acknowledged by their families<br/>
         ⁃ It was like being married, but for people too busy to go through the six-month ceremony and five year engagement cycle. <strong>I just don't like....them being married, and I really feel like they've always been rebels, but at first it was a socially appropriate rebellion, like how you could be a lesbian in Victorian times if you were really rich and posh and wacky about it. Like those Welsh women. I'm a good historian, I promise. </strong><br/>
 • Their drive for advancement that had never been respected or counted<br/>
      ⁃ Then again, she kind of had had that as well, and she wasn't the one going round in all black and cackling all the time.<br/>
 • … <strong>The dots are like an internal, dropping head into hands and breathing out slowly. </strong><br/>
 • It’s been so long since they’d been kids on Gallifrey it’s getting harder to remember Koschei at all. <br/>
     ⁃ She does know this: he’d been lovely. He’d been so sweet and so kind. And he could run so, so fast. <strong>Like really especially after the perceived betrayal of Missy, how can they be friends/in love? Is she really just stuck back on what they had as youths?</strong></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>“I’m sure he loved you too,” the Master says. <strong>This is him saying, "I love you." And I think he does, again, as I've said, when he trashed Gallifrey he said "I didn't do it for me." He goes after those who hurt the Doctor (who he feels is his to toy with and hurt) like a rabid dog. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“I think he did,” the Doctor replies, slowly. <strong>And this is her replying, "I know."</strong><br/>
<br/>
She needs to go. This was a very bad idea. The Doctor drains the last of her tea, gets slapped in the face with a wedge of soggy lemon. <strong>Gotta break up the sad with some humour, and also showcase 13's awkwardness. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Well, O, I’ve taken up enough of your time,” she says. She stands. “It’s been wonderful, do contact me if there’s another alien invasion, or something.” One he’s going to organise. <br/>
<br/>
“Was it something I said?” The Master stands too. “I’m sorry Doctor, I just think - I’ve never met an alien like you before - “ Technically not a lie, very clever. “I - Doctor, I don’t have any friends.” <br/>
<br/>
Well. That’s not a lie either.<br/>
<br/>
“I’ve just got you,” the Master-as-O finishes. <br/>
<br/>
This tells the Doctor a few things.</p><p> • The Master has definitely been inhabiting this time in history. That she suspected, he always was a bit of a method actor when it came to his schemes.<br/>
 • The Master has been expanding his pop-culture knowledge beyond his usual oeuvre of HG Wells novels, Orson Welles films, Carolyn Wells’ poetry, Jair-Rôhm Parker Wells’ music and <em>Clangers</em> tapes. <strong>Okay so the Master has become quite entrenched in earth history and pop culture now but I still wanted to give him like an. Alien spin so in my head the Master  came across HG Wells, and then was like "I'd like to see more stuff like this" but instead of looking at Wells' contemporaries he was like "who is Wells related to" and didn't check, so he sort of moves sideways through earth culture via surnames. </strong><br/>
 • Because they (she and Missy) watched the first episode of BBC <em>Sherlock</em> in the Vault but the Doctor binned the DVDs afterwards because she (he) could feel Arthur Conan Doyle shouting at him (her) in her (his) head. <strong>I........don't know why I used Sherlock for this, but I did and I beg forgiveness. </strong><br/>
 • Basically, the Master’s been spending his time as O cuddled up on the couch watching <em>Sherlock</em>. </p><p>“What an admission,” the Doctor says, and thinks about how she’d usually react in this situation. A promise for a trip in time and space, usually, with zero-gravity milkshakes on Ganymede for afters. “I’m sorry to hear that O.”<br/>
<br/>
“I thought we had a connection, now I’ve made things awkward,” the Master says. He sits again. “I’m sorry, please go, if you want.” <strong>He's such a manipulative bitch. You have to remember. Basically every line the Master says is him being manipulative.</strong><br/>
<br/>
The Doctor should leave. She should want to leave. She shouldn’t want to a) stay and b) stay, <strong>little mini list for your list pleasure</strong> but also twist the knife.<br/>
<br/>
She sits beside him, and pats his knee. The Master’s eyes briefly flick down to his leg in shock and - she wants to say awe. If she focusses she thinks she can taste wonder leaking from his mind. <strong>Some hot palm-on-knee action for y'all. And this was so sexy of course, I just cut the sex scene later on. It's also like. He should realise the Doctor's playing him, bc the Doctor rarely touches humans. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Um,” the Doctor says. “To be honest. You remind me of someone, from a long, long time ago, and it hurts my hearts a little to see so much of him in you.”<br/>
<br/>
The Master makes a noise. There’s a lot in it. It can be read as an “oh, I’m sorry to have inadvertently upset you” noise, as he thinks she’s completely fooled as to his real identity. It also has an edge of “oh, shit I better tone up the human and down the familiarity lest she figure me out. Haha. I am evil, I’m the Master. I’m so sneaky.”<br/>
<br/>
“I can assure you, I’m not him,” the Master says, and he touches her elbow. <br/>
<br/>
Usually she hates being touched; even through layers. And yet, she doesn’t flinch. The Doctor turns to face O - to face the Master. He’s got wonderful eyes, this time around. Actually, he and Missy both had amazing eyes. Missy’s were striking. This version, they’re dark. She was once forbidden by Dorothy Parker from using the word “limpid” but this version of the Master’s eyes come close. They’re like the spaces between stars, and the dark, rich earth the Shabogans used to grow food for the Capitol. She and Koschei would cross those fields when playing on his family’s property, under the shadow of the mountain. <strong>The word limpid is the worst but it's truuuuuuue. Also like. Dark earth is beautiful. I've been doing a lot of gardening.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Doctor?”<br/>
<br/>
“Hm?”<br/>
<br/>
“Would you like to stay? Perhaps watch something?"<br/>
<br/>
“Do you have anything other than the Clangers?”<br/>
<br/>
The Master opens up a drawer in the coffee table, riffles through some of the DVDs lined up - in chronological order, by year of original release it seems - and selects something French from the early 1990s. <br/>
<br/>
“Time travel themed,” he says. “You can point out the inconsistencies.”<br/>
<br/>
It’s a good film. Probably. The Master forgets to play act and ask her if she can understand the film without subtitles (obviously). It is funny, and at least slapstick doesn’t really require her to pay attention. She’s a bit scattered at the best of times, but O, <strong>"She's a bit scattered" and then she calls the Master "O" without even realising, self-own Doctor. </strong>probably not even realising, sits beside her with his arm stretched out along the back of the couch. <strong>I like to think this is sort of unconscious; I'm a very touchy person so sometimes I end up draped over a platonic person (though I've gotten a lot better at checking that's okay).</strong> If she looks one way, she can see his slender, lovely fingers. The other way means she can see the corner of his jaw, the curve of his ear. He’s got such silky, dark hair now. <strong>She's a "bit scattered." </strong>The Master makes a good show of being absorbed by the film - though they’ve always been good at that kind of deep focus, perhaps he really does like comedies about temporally-displaced knights – <br/>
<br/>
Her back hurts from sitting up straight; not letting a single part of her even brush against the Master. It’s weird, again, usually she just manages to avoid touch. It’s natural, it’s simple - <strong>tfw you're sitting beside your crush in year nine drama and have to sit Cool but also want to be Near them</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Can I get you a pillow for your back?” he asks.<br/>
<br/>
His voice seems to travel through the couch, through her chest. <br/>
<br/>
“Oh, I didn’t even realise I was sitting funny, the film is so good, I didn’t even realise. It’s funny.”<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor allows her spine to bend, and somehow she twists a little and she ends up leaning against O’s side. He’s warm, and he smells good, and a little bit like cappuccino. Maybe it’s good she didn’t get the caramel shot. <strong>People smelling like milky coffee...hurk.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Are you sitting comfortably?” <strong>"Are you sitting comfortably? Then let's begin."</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Yes, thanks,” says the Doctor. <br/>
<br/>
“Actually, hang on. You know, I might make us some popcorn.”<br/>
<br/>
They finish <em>Les Visiteurs,</em> and then O puts on the Welles’ version of <em>The Trial</em>, and the Doctor’s not only seen that one before, but she helped with the editing and always regrets one of the cuts she put in during the opening sequence. So, she closes her eyes for a bit, and then she’s very warm and full of popcorn-with-banana-honey-chips and she might doze off. <strong>So sleeping means relaxing means feeling safe. She feels safe around O though, not the Master (see how she refers to him as O at the start of the paragraph and continues to).</strong><br/>
<br/>
When she does eventually wake up, O’s covered her with a finely-knitted blanket in soft shades of purple and stuffed a pillow under her head. <strong>He had to dig through his TARDIS to get it, Missy probably made it in the Vault lol.</strong> The Doctor manages to keep her eyes closed as she wakes up, listens to O humming under his breath as the end credits roll. The couch shifts as he leans forward, takes his cup of tea. There’s something comforting and familiar about this whole situation, and as she relaxes into it, it sends a jolt of nausea and confusion roiling through her stomach. She bites the inside of her mouth, keeps her face calm. <strong>She's basically having post-one-night-stand regrets without having sex once. </strong><br/>
<br/>
A warm hand on her shoulder. O squeezes, twice. <strong>Shoulder, nice and platonic. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Doctor,” he says. “Do you want to wake up?” <strong>Okay so. He's like. Happy to leave her sleeping because it means he can also pretend like, hell, maybe they're back in the Vault and the Doctor's crashed on the couch. But he's also loving how helpless she is in his trap. </strong><br/>
<br/>
It’s comforting, until she remembers. The Doctor fake-stirs; if the Master’s going to pretend he can’t tell when she’s awake, she’s going to pretend she wasn’t awake at all. <br/>
<br/>
“Doctor?”<br/>
<br/>
“Mmpf?”<br/>
<br/>
“You’ve been asleep for about two hours, I didn’t know if that was an appropriate amount of time for a Time Lord to sleep, but I don’t like to sleep during the day very often, and - ”<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor sits up, rubs her eye, yawns. “I don’t usually sleep at all. I guess you’re just a very - I think I just feel very relaxed around you. You’re a good person.”<br/>
<br/>
O gives her a funny, sad smile. <strong>She aimed to wound but that one is funny to him because he thinks he's so clever. </strong>He reaches across, tucks her hair behind her ear, lets his hand rest against her cheek. The Doctor covers his hand with hers.<strong> The Master was totally hoping she'd kiss him, like he sets her up for it. I mean COME ON.</strong><br/>
<br/>
The Doctor takes O’s face, kisses him gently on the lips. They’re soft, warm and full, the way she remembers back in the outback. This is, in many ways, like the outback in reverse. She’s the one who knows what’s going on here. O makes a surprised noise and returns the kiss. He kisses her back softly, his tongue brushing along her lower lip; his hand makes its way under the blanket, trails up her leg-inside her trousers, very clever - and cups her knee. <strong>And so clearly. The Master has just plain forgotten, and for a second he's pretending that he, the Master, is kissing the Doctor. </strong>That sends a tingle along her skin.<br/>
<br/>
The Doctor runs her thumbs along O’s cheeks, feels the tiny pinpricks of stubble that are just starting to emerge, contrasting with the softness of his face. O makes a low noise at the back of his throat, and pulls away. His hand stays on her leg, his fingers warm and rough.<br/>
<br/>
“Doctor,” O says, his voice tight. <strong>Tight because he's fucked up and knows it. </strong>“You’re wonderful, but I’m not interested in women.”<br/>
<br/>
“Ah,” the Doctor says, and all of a sudden she remembers that <br/>
<br/>
 • This isn’t O, this is <em>the Master</em><br/>
 • This is the Master playing O<br/>
 • And the Master is showing admirable dedication to the role<br/>
      ⁃ He’s always done that. <strong>Oh boy has he.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“I’m - ” the Doctor begins, still holding his face, the Master’s hand firm on the back of her neck, her hair tangled in his fingers. She tries again. “I’m sorry - ” She pretends not to see he’s hard in his Sensible Work Pants. <strong>Like he can control his face but penises are....ridiculous....</strong> It must have been a while for him. “I’m sorry,” she says. “Though to be fair, I’m not even human.”<br/>
<br/>
If she looks hard enough into his eyes, she thinks she can see the Master internally weighing up the pros and cons of the situation.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><em>Pros [presumably]: </em><strong>Just for clarity's sake, this is the Doctor thinking about what the Master might be thinking.</strong><br/>
 • He’s got the Doctor right where he wants her (he thinks)<br/>
 • He’s not had sex in a very long time <br/>
      ⁃ In fact, if the Doctor knows the Master (and she thought she did) he’s probably not been with anyone.<br/>
 • He’s just not interested in beings who aren’t her <strong>I waver on this, like maybe the Master fucks humans occasionally (as O), like it could be a funny little diversion for him to emotionally manipulate people, but also humans are yucky to him so.....</strong><br/>
      ⁃ Lucy Saxon wasn’t so much an exception as a prop and a punching bag (poor Lucy) <strong>As I mentioned before, Simm!Master was just so human in his cruelness versus Missy and Dhawan's like....shrinking people and throwing them into volcanoes, and vaporizing them with that handheld device. You know? It's hard to balance.</strong></p><p><em>Cons [probably]:</em><br/>
 • He’s constructed O as a gay man from 2012 so he’s less likely to be believably open to having sex with a female-presenting, female-identifying humanoid.<br/>
 • There’s always a little psychic intermingling when Time Lords are intimate. It’s just part of the act. That’s a risk. <strong>This is setting up for the sex scene, which I then cut. But I like it. </strong><br/>
 • He’s got his big stupid plan with his creatures of light and the silver lady and Daniel “Badly Named Search Engine” Barton. It’s all about timing, and this could throw it off.<br/>
      ⁃ Of course she knows what vore is. This isn’t her first time around the universe. <strong>Why did they call it VOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE</strong></p><p>Again though:<br/>
<em>Pros [presumably]:</em><br/>
 • He’s not had sex in a very long time<br/>
      ⁃ Specifically, he’s not had sex with the Doctor in a very, very long time.<br/>
           ⁃ The last time had been quiet and melancholy and loving, in a house in a field of daffodils surrounded by death, and she can’t think about those times right now. <strong>You know the deal. </strong></p><p><em>Cons</em>:<br/>
 •  —<br/>
 • <strong>"fuck it"<br/>
</strong></p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p><br/>
They have sex, right there on his couch. It’s a little awkward, what with the cushions and the coffee-table and the angle, but this is something they’ve always been good at, no matter who they’re pretending to be or wherever they are. The TV keeps playing in the background and there’s something weirdly - novel about that. Like they’re each other’s high school crushes, just pretending to hang out platonically. Then again, they were in the Time Lord equivalent of high school when they got together originally, almost just like this. <strong>As I said earlier, I'm trying to get tighter with my writing and like. All I wanted to say was "they had sex and it was nice but kind of awkward, and it was kind of sad."</strong><br/>
<br/>
It was easier back then; both emotionally and physically. Robes are easier to remove than trousers and suspenders.<br/>
<br/>
He’s a lot more gentle than she’s used to, as well. Tender. Cautious might be the word. It’s part of the character, she knows, and thinks if this was how sex was when they were both together as themselves, well. It would probably get….boring? She’s never known sex to be boring. <strong>I had a great chat with Yveline once about an AU if O played a longer con in Doctor Who and was a companion for a few episodes and we grew to love him and there was romantic tension and [runs to change Big Bang idea] THEN we find out he's the Master but before then the Doctor and O hooked up and it was great but it was kind of vanilla sex because the Doctor's last two main sex partners have been you know. River Song and Missy. It was like O was deliberately being dull in the sack and she was like "everything's great except the dick is adequate" and then when it's revealed who O is, they do have some great, angry sex and it's *chef's kiss* Anyway. </strong><br/>
<br/>
After a brief doze, the Doctor wakes to finds herself trapped, pressed into the couch’s back by O - by the Master–and almost tucked against his chest as he half-dozes, teetering on the edge of the couch cushions. <strong>Can you say intimacy? </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Hey,” she says, giving up and giving in. She reaches up, brushes his hair across his forehead, so it’s out of his eyes.  <strong>So this harkens back to the other fic I wrote for squid where the position of the Master's hair tells us which person he's pretending to be, and in this case, the Doctor is making him into the Master, not O. But it's also super intimate. </strong>“Wake up.”<br/>
<br/>
The Master opens his big, dark eyes. “Hm? Are you cold?” <br/>
<br/>
She’s not, but the Master is always cold. <strong>Intimacy. </strong>He turns and sits up, his broad shoulders more impressive from this angle. <strong>He's got such good shoulders. </strong>He finds the blanket where it ended up on the floor and draws it over both of them before lying back down again. <strong>So from here on in, he's always the Master. She's not pretending any more, and she'll be angry later.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Never done that before,” he says, when they’re almost nose to nose.<br/>
<br/>
“You seemed to know your way around.”<br/>
<br/>
“Alright, well. My second ever boyfriend, he was transgender, and hadn’t transitioned very far, so uh. Yeah.” He smiles at her, sheepish, and he’s beautiful. “But never done that with a woman before.” <strong>So this was partially a left-over from the sex scene if it had been explicit, but I decided to keep the idea and adapt it. Because you know, it reflects reality, and the Master has created O to be the kind of person who would be open to dating transgender men (I know this is a whole other issue in some pockets of the gay community so we're going to put this conversation over in the corner now). </strong><br/>
<br/>
The Doctor kisses him, pressing their bodies together to warm him up. “Are you okay?” <strong>"The Master is always cold." She knows him and cares for him.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“I am, I am. You’re too wonderful to have any regrets or worries about.” He kisses her forehead. <strong>FOREHEAD KISSES.</strong> “And you?”<br/>
<br/>
“I’m swell,” says the Doctor, then pulls a face. “Except that I just said swell. I will have to go in a minute though.” She needs to go. She needs to leave.<br/>
<br/>
“Why?”<br/>
<br/>
“I have plans,” she says. “Dinner plans. I’m going - ” she’s cut off when he kisses her again. “Coat shopping with Janis Joplin.” <strong>Nicked this from 10, obv, because I feel like she's pulling lines from there because she can't think of anything else.</strong><br/>
<br/>
“Do you ever name-drop famous dead people just to see how humans - us humans - react?”<br/>
<br/>
A slip-up. She decides to be honest. “Yeah, sometimes. This time though, it’s for real.” <strong>I should have rephrased this - she's being honest about the namedropping, but lying when she says "it's for real." She's got a time machine for god's sake. </strong><br/>
<br/>
“Sure it is. Can I kiss you again?”<br/>
<br/>
“I don’t see why not,” the Doctor says, and she kisses him instead. He smiles against her mouth, cupping her face, and she wants to hurt him <strong>because she's angry</strong>. “You’re lovely, O.”<br/>
<br/>
He doesn’t outwardly react, but she feels his pulses speed up. <strong>She's mean, and she got him with that, sort of shaking himself out of his daydream.</strong> This was a bad idea, but she can’t bring herself to feel it. The Master wraps his arm around her waist, strokes her back, running his fingertips along her shoulderblades. She kisses him again, and he kisses her back, pressing her into the couch.<br/>
<br/>
“Stay the night,” he says. “Please.” <strong>This is just the Master asking. I think he knows by now, or he suspects that the Doctor's not fooled, but he wants her there anyway. But I'm not sure.</strong></p><p>That request is many things, including: <strong>Similar to the list at the start, this is mirroring. </strong><br/>
<br/>
 • Morally questionable<br/>
 • Ethically questionable<br/>
 • A violation of the rules and laws of time <br/>
 • A bad idea<br/>
      ⁃ A very bad idea.</p><p>• Regardless.</p><p>“Okay,” she whispers, and she does. <strong>And I am toying with like. Writing another chunk of this, and that would be the overnight, but I am - working on my novel actually, which is such a wanky sentence.<br/>
<br/>
Anyway, thank you all for reading thus far and there was such a wonderful response to this fic so thank you all again &lt;3 </strong></p>
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